When a guy says he needs time to think about the relationship
Your man has recently come to you with a confession. He says he needs time to himself. The moment the words left his lips, your heart sank. As much as you want to believe it's nothing to worry about, you can't help it.
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: What to do when he wants space - why men need space #askReneeContent:
- When A Guy Says He Needs Time To Think: When A Guy Says He Needs Time To Figure Things Out
- When a Guy Says He Needs Time to Think, What Does That Mean?
- What Does It Mean When a Guy Says He’s Confused and He Needs Time to Think?
- This Is How To Deal When He Tells You He Needs Space
- My Boyfriend Told Me That He Needs Time To Think!
When A Guy Says He Needs Time To Think: When A Guy Says He Needs Time To Figure Things Out
Few things are as frightening or nerve-wracking as a man needing space. You try to figure out what you could have done wrong, and you strategize about ways to make things better and get the relationship back on track. The way they process and experience things is different.
Taking space is a natural coping mechanism for most men, just as seeking out support from friends and loved ones is a natural coping mechanism for most women. When a man needs space, it often has little, if anything, to do with you.
The number-one reason a man pulls away is because he is stressed. The source of his stress could be the result of some issue in the relationship, but it might not have anything to do with you at all.
Men will typically view themselves as weak and incapable if they voice their feelings or lean on other people for help or support. The way women handle difficult emotions is probably much more psychologically healthy and healing, but it is what it is. Men have a much harder time processing and handling emotions than women do. For him, escaping from his feelings temporarily is sometimes more beneficial than trying to sort through them.
Even though your intentions are pure, when you offer up solutions he feels emasculated. Men need to feel like they are in charge of their lives, like they are capable of solving whatever comes up. When he is under stress, just give him space and try not to take it personally. If you get angry or frustrated with him, he will just see you as another source of stress in his life, and it will put more strain on the relationship.
Why is this so hard? When a woman is upset, she will typically want to talk about it with those she feels closest to. She feels shut out and rejected and may come to resent him for it, thus exacerbating any problems that already exist.
It is just his process, and he will be back and better than ever once he has a handle on whatever it going on. Just listen. You can offer advice if he asks, but only if he asks. So he might not tell you that he really needs your approval and appreciation. Instead, he backs away. You might be surprised by what he tells you.
And no matter what it is, try not to get defensive. You can also voice what it is you need from him. When you approach him from a place of genuinely wanting to make the relationship better and wanting to make him feel loved, he will be receptive to you.
He might say he needs space, or he might just start taking it without warning. And the woman is baffled. What went wrong? She thought everything was going so well! These situations usually happen for one of two reasons.
The first is a very subtle, sneaky one. It comes from a mindset shift that happens within you. This fear causes them to cling tighter to the relationship, to associate their self-worth with how the guy feels. The guy can pick up on this energy.
I talk a lot more about this in my article on why guys suddenly lose interest. You might not have a solid sense of self-esteem and so you look to men to fill up your self-worthy tank. Try to get to the root of this underlying fear so you can internalize that you are lovable and you do deserve lasting love with a great man. A lot of guys worry that a girl will become the gatekeeper of their social calendar as soon as a commitment is made, and they will have to say goodbye to watching football with the guys on Sunday, playing sports, and every other activity they enjoy.
When you give him the space and opportunity to maintain his own life and do what he likes to do, this fear dissipates. Encourage him to be who he wants to be and do what he wants to do, and make sure you do the same. A guy may not always ask for space, but he will be grateful anytime it is granted to him. When he has time to do his thing, either by himself or with his guy friends, he has the chance to recharge that part of himself.
And the same goes for women. As a woman, you should never deny a man his time to recharge. This will also benefit you as well, so everyone wins! Try to maintain warm, positive feelings towards him and use the time to focus on yourself and do things that make you feel good.
Just be sure to do it in a loving way, not in an accusatory or attacking way, because that will just make things worse.
In the end, remember that when a man needs space, it may have little, if anything, to do with you. In any of these cases, there are things you can do to reassure him.
Focus on those things, and his need for space will no longer be frightening or nerve-wracking. Instead it will be an opportunity to give him something he needs to be his best self. I would definitely recommend this book to any women who may be having issues within a relationship or with the men in their life in general.
That they make it into a game. However, what will destroy a relationship whenever is if you decide to penalize him for making you feel hurt. Lots of women will emotionally withdraw from some guy if he starts to take away from them, in order to try to hurt him the way that he injure her.
This is most toxic reaction you could have to this situation. If a person sees that you have got that response to him feeling like he needs some space, it will send him running to the inclines. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.
You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. What to do: The biggest mistake a woman can make when he is in this mode is to force him to talk about it. And even worse is when she tries to solve the problem for him. What to do: Try to pay attention to what lights him up and what shuts him down.
This post originally appeared at A New Mode. Sabrina Alexis Extroverted introvert. More From Thought Catalog. Get our newsletter every Friday! You're in! Follow Thought Catalog. Post to Cancel.
When a Guy Says He Needs Time to Think, What Does That Mean?
His ex-wife keeps pulling him back by sending the kids to talk to him. She divorced him 8 months ago and was cheating with another man for more than a year and a half. We just kissed and we decided to take it seriously but slowly. Then he came to me asking for time to think and wanting to be alone because the kids talked to him again.
The anxiety of a man needing space. It can make you feel blinded by fear of the worst. Unfortunately and fortunately, this dizzy time of worry and stress is so important for the future of your relationship with this man. First of all, I want to say that this article is for women who are already in an exclusive relationship. See how to stay high value when he pulls away….
What Does It Mean When a Guy Says He’s Confused and He Needs Time to Think?
Being on a break is different for men and women because men and women are very different when it comes to relationships in general… a fact any ANM reader knows well by now. The conversation I was having with my friend got so interesting and enlightening, I asked him to elaborate further on the subject and took our exchange and turned it into an entire article. Let the enlightening begin…. Whether he officially says he needs space or he just disappears, this situation usually causes problems in the relationship because a guy and a girl will see it in two totally different ways. The girl will usually see it as some kind of rejection or abandonment and will go into crisis mode. In my opinion, breaks are usually a big sign of trouble. However, it is possible for things to go back to normal as long as both people use the break time properly. A guy will usually spend this time trying to get back on his A-game. Guys are just wired differently and handle stressful situations differently, this does not include talking about the problem for most men. First off, let it be.
This Is How To Deal When He Tells You He Needs Space
Jacklyn Bystritsky. Sally LeBoy. Katherine Woodworth. This is never a great time in the relationship. After all, if things were great, you would not need a break.
We live a couple of hours apart from each other so it makes seeing each other a bit difficult but we manage once a week but speak every day. Break offs can be very painful and it can start off a cycle of depression and self sabotage. So what should you be doing under these circumstances?
My Boyfriend Told Me That He Needs Time To Think!
Okay, it's totally you. But there's another super normal and classic line that guys tell you and it can be just as confusing Okay, definitely more. When your boyfriend tells you that he needs some space, it's hard not to scream at him and ask what he could possibly mean.
One of the most interesting and stressful classes I ever took was one on creative writing. And one of the most fun and most interesting conversations I have ever had was when I ran into my teacher. We sat down and had a glass of wine and talked about the millions of extension requests that she gets every semester. But the one she said she almost always would give extensions for was open writing assignments. Human nature responds to the collision of emotions and rational thought with something that is called cognitive dissonance.
These six little words usually arrive out of the blue and plunge you into a world of confusion. In fact, there are four steps you can do right now, to bring him back. Before you put them into action, though, you need to take care of your own mindset. To do so, remember that:. The more you scramble for ideas to keep him there, agonise over what you did wrong and let paranoia run wild, the more he gains the upper hand in your mind.
You went on a hot date last night and it was a hit! Uhhh, what? Unfortunately not, and it is gut-wrenching. And in some cases a man may start to feel this way when he is falling deeply in love with you. He needs to take some time to think about what love is and if he is really ready to dive in and be with a woman full time and let his emotions overtake him.