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Should a married woman go out with single friends

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On occasion, my friend must excuse herself to attend to some matter. Most times, the conversation continues without a hiccup and my husband or friend will return within minutes and reignite their contribution to the gathering. Sure, married women can have male friends, but is it the best choice for the long-term health of your marriage? When I meet a new girlfriend that I like, I want to know everything about her. I want to hear her life story.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Can a single woman be friends with a married man? [S.2, Ep. 1]

Content:

Dear Therapist: I’m Considering Leaving My Wife for My Co-worker

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Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear. Months ago, on a business trip, a female co-worker and I attempted to meet up with others for drinks, but when everyone else bailed, we decided to still go out.

After multiple rounds of drinks, barhopping, and great conversation, I realized we had an intense connection. After the business trip, we continued to talk and meet up for drinks. The feelings got stronger and I shared information with her that I had never told anyone. I felt I could be my genuine self with her, which is a feeling that I have not had in a long time. The way she looks at me still gives me chills as I write this. Great, right?

With a daughter. And another baby on the way. My co-worker is single with no kids. I have never been truly happy in my marriage. Yes, there were times when I was happy, but not truly happy.

I compare my marriage to vanilla ice cream. I was content in my marriage. I have a good life, good job, nice house, and all the things that come with that. Eventually, my wife found out about this, but she still wants to work on our marriage. That, combined with the lack of intimacy in our relationship, makes me wonder if I would be happier with a divorce. I still love my wife, but I am just not in love with her. There is no more spark.

I feel much better when I am actually heard, but the resulting fights are frustrating because they are fruitless. So I am left wondering: Do I stay in a mediocre marriage for the kids, or do I leave for my own interest?

When I look down either road, I can see only fear and regret. Any advice? Experiencing such an intense mutual connection feels wonderful, and your task now is to understand the nature of it better. You say the spark is no longer in your marriage and on a positive note, you remember the spark , but many parents entrenched in the day-to-day with infants or toddlers feel this way, and seek out, either in fantasy or reality, a welcome escape from the sometimes mundane, roommate-like existence that couples can fall into during this phase of life.

Communication issues can lead to a person feeling emotionally unavailable, and many people who feel that way come alive in the presence of a shiny new potential partner. Another thing for you to consider as you go through this process is that no one else can tell you what to do. This is especially important because, as you tell it, your earlier decision to get back together with your now-wife was influenced, at least in part, by the opinions of family and friends.

Nobody—not your wife, not a new partner, not your daughter—can fill that hole for you, even if it seems like your co-worker is doing so in the moment. If you were to leave now, you would be the single father of a young child and a newborn, with a girlfriend who may not have an interest in raising these children with you—changing diapers, waking up several times a night, spending time at baby birthday parties and the pediatrician and the park.

Moreover, if you two eventually have children together, you may find yourself five or 10 years from now wondering how you ended up in the same situation once again: content, but with decreased intimacy, increased tension, and a nagging sense that Mocha Almond Fudge is an even better flavor of ice cream than Rocky Road.

How open are you to her true self? How much empathy do you have for her experience of the marriage and what her wants and needs are? Only then will you be able to make a decision not out of guilt or confusion or quiet desperation, but out of a grounded place of knowing. Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to letters theatlantic. Skip to content. Sign in My Account Subscribe. The Atlantic Crossword. The Print Edition. Latest Issue Past Issues. Connect Facebook Twitter.

Did Single Friends Kill My Marriage?

Are you a married woman with single friends? Are you finding it hard to meet with them or do you find that your relationship is no longer like it used to be before you got married? I do understand.

Acquired habits, such as overspending has been spoken against repeatedly. Of course, it is one thing to speak against something; whether or not any form of social change is being effected by that condemnation is another thing.

On occasion, my friend must excuse herself to attend to some matter. Most times, the conversation continues without a hiccup and my husband or friend will return within minutes and reignite their contribution to the gathering. Sure, married women can have male friends, but is it the best choice for the long-term health of your marriage? When I meet a new girlfriend that I like, I want to know everything about her. I want to hear her life story.

Why cut off your single friends just because you got married?

Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear. Months ago, on a business trip, a female co-worker and I attempted to meet up with others for drinks, but when everyone else bailed, we decided to still go out. After multiple rounds of drinks, barhopping, and great conversation, I realized we had an intense connection. After the business trip, we continued to talk and meet up for drinks. The feelings got stronger and I shared information with her that I had never told anyone. I felt I could be my genuine self with her, which is a feeling that I have not had in a long time.

Five Things Every Married Woman should know about her Single Friends (Part One)

I get that she needs to get out and let loose at times. Last weekend, she and her friends went down to Las Vegas for the night. The original plan was just to go down for the evening and come back, but she called late and they decided to spend the night. About half of her friend group is single and half is married, so I wonder if she is relieving some of her single lady days or something.

On occasion, my friend must excuse herself to attend to some matter.

I really loved her. Does anyone like you? I need updates!

21 Married Women Share What They Wish They Could Tell Their Single Friends

Several months before my marriage ended, I had a conversation with a friend who I will call SA no names will be used to protect identities. I had introduced her to her husband and she was in full couples swing while my marriage was suffering. She was concerned about the amount of single friends that I hung out with.

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5 Reasons Why Married Women Should Rethink Male Friends

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Married and single women should never mix at all costs because they are at A woman has to cut off unproductive friends when she gets married; Married much to the point where you feel you should include her in everything including date.

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Dear married women with single friends

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Going Out With Your Single Bestie When You’re Married

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Comments: 1
  1. Maudal

    Do not pay attention!

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