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Questions to ask your boyfriend about his ex

Skip navigation! Story from Sex. Judy Kim and Lily di Costanzo. My friends and I spend more time than I'd like to admit discussing our past relationships.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 100 Funny Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Get A Guy Over His Ex. Why It's So Important For Him to Move On

Cute Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend (Sweet Things To Ask Your BF)

Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love. Are you in a relationship and you're not sure where it's headed? While obviously not every relationship needs to end in marriage or some long-term partnership, if your goal in life is to one day have a family and kids, then you should probably keep that in the back of your mind when you're dating.

One of the worst things you can do if you're trying to get into a long-term relationship is to invest all of your time and energy in the wrong guy. To avoid disappointments, though, you can ask him a few basic questions.

These questions will give you a lot of information about him, which can give you a few clues about the eventual fate of your relationship. Before anything else, consider this: If your boyfriend won't open up at all and responds poorly to deeper questions, then he may not be interested in having a serious relationship. That's totally fine if that's also what you want, but if you're looking for something else, take that as a big red flag. If your boyfriend is interested in deepening your relationship, on the other hand, he probably won't have a problem discussing any of these questions:.

Some people change more rapidly than others. Some of us go through massive transformations every few years, while others stay pretty much the same decade after decade. It really comes down to what you want out of life. His answer to this question will mean something different to you depending on what you're looking for. Are you someone who thrives on rapid change, and gets bored of living in the same city and leading the same life for many years at a time? Or are you the kind of person who likes stability and wants to put your roots down somewhere?

Of course, just because they've had an eventful past 5 years doesn't mean that they are still on a path of change. However, you can often tell if a guy loves change and gets bored easily based on how he answers the question.

Everyone has a different history, but if he seems to have had way too many "serious" relationships in, say, the past five years, then your definition of "serious" may be different from his. It could also mean that he jumps from relationship to relationship too fast because he is afraid of being single.

You want someone who isn't needy and values being alone, while still understanding the benefits of a relationship. It's better to have someone who would love to have you because he genuinely thinks you're special, than someone who needs you because he has to be with someone.

There's a huge difference between those two mindsets. On the other hand, if he's never been in a relationship at all, this might also be concerning. If he's young--like in his early twenties--this might not be as big of a deal. A lot of us focus on our careers early on and we might avoid long-term relationships while in school.

However, if he's in his mid thirties or forties or more, then this is a red flag. Ask him more about it and try to find out why he's never been married or at least in a serious relationship at his age.

Ask him about his exes if you can manage to do so casually. Chances are, though, if he hates his ex, he will tell you all about it with minimal encouragement. Sometimes people have legitimate reasons to hate their ex-lovers, but a lot of the time the hatred stems from feeling like a victim. Listen carefully to his story and try to figure out if the reason for his strong dislike of his ex is because he blames everything that led to the breakup on them.

If he's willing to take no responsibility for the problems in their relationship, then this is a bad sign. Further, if he has "crazy" exes, politely prod him a little more about how long he was with the person. We all have encounters with crazy lovers from time to time, but the big question is whether we tolerate that crazy behavior or kick them to the curb as soon as we find out.

If he had a "crazy ex" who tortured him for years--or, worse, every ex of his was like this--then he probably has deep self-esteem problems because he allowed such behavior for months or years. Maybe he's over these problems, and maybe he's not.

It's up to you whether you want to deal with that. Lots of people ignore these at first, assuming that they aren't important or practical, especially if you live an average life where these things don't really cross your mind much. However, the truth is that your philosophical or religious beliefs touch every part of your life, whether you realize it or not--and whether you actually chose your philosophy consciously or not.

A lot of people go through life thinking that they have no strongly-held values except for those that are "common sense" that "everyone has. Everybody knows that. The problem here is that, as strange as it may seem, not everyone shares your beliefs, even the ones that are the most universal and obvious to you. Lots of people are shocked when they date someone and find that their worldview is entirely different, especially if they're dating someone of a different cultural background.

Do not assume these things. Look deeply inside yourself and understand the things you value the most. Maybe you value a strong family, or you value a vegan lifestyle, or you value your religious upbringing. If your partner does not also value these things, it will lead to problems in the future. Of course, be careful here: Just because your partner doesn't share your beliefs, doesn't mean you have to be a jerk about it.

There's no need to judge. Just acknowledge that there's an incompatibility. Whether or not you intend on getting married and makin' some babies, you should be on the same page.

If you never, ever, EVER want to get married, then he should feel the same way. Don't string him along if he's obviously hanging onto the hope that you'll change your mind and tie the knot someday. Similarly, if he hates children and thinks that they're the spawn of Satan himself, then don't wait around until he magically decides that he wants to change diapers all day.

Don't let yourself get too serious if you have different views on this; it will just lead to drama. He might change, he might not--but you can't expect your influence to do much. Finally, before you ask these questions, let's make this clear: Don't be weird about it.

Be casual, nonjudgmental, and try to work the questions into normal conversations. If you just run up to him and assault him with a barrage of questions like these, then you might freak him about a little. This might be a good thing if you're trying to filter through men fast, but if he's still feeling you out as well which is probable , it might be a bad idea.

For example, one way that you could approach the question about his exes is by relaying a funny story about one of yours. Next, ask him if he has any "crazy" exes. Then listen carefully for how he talks about them, and so on. In other words, have some social awareness and don't make him feel bad for his responses. You're trying to determine his compatibility for a long-term relationship, not judge him for the way he is. To comment on this article, you must sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

And yet for some reason most of us approach all of our relationships that we enter into as "potentially being our last" leading to marriage. This goes back to Jr. Very few if any 17 year old lovers view their relationships as being "temporary" and in fact are insulted when adults don't respect their relationship as being "serious".

This also explains why the first broken heart is difficult for many people to get over. We honestly believed our "first love" would be our eternal love and we'd live happily ever after. Looking back it seems silly to have thought like that and this is especially true once one has teenagers of their own!

This pattern of approaching every relationship like it could lead to marriage continues for many of us throughout our late teens and during our college years.

Nevertheless according to statistics in the U. Essentially they will have at least 10 years of sexual experience before getting married to whomever. These questions might apply for someone who indeed is looking to settle down and get married. Compatibility trumps compromise. You've made some interesting points here. Not sure I'd ask how many serious relationships they've been in though. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.

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The First Thing to Think About Before anything else, consider this: If your boyfriend won't open up at all and responds poorly to deeper questions, then he may not be interested in having a serious relationship.

Approach Him the Right Way Finally, before you ask these questions, let's make this clear: Don't be weird about it. Compatible Philosophy Have you ever gotten "serious" with someone, only to find out later that their beliefs about life were very different from yours?

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21 Questions To Ask Your Partner About Their Past That Reveal So Much

Questions are necessary if you really want to get to know someone. In a relationship, questions helps us understand each other better and avoid most misunderstanding. Questions helps us move from the initial stage of strangers to being friends and then being lovers.

Maybe you and your partner have just started to get serious. Maybe you've been together for a decade.

One of the most annoying things you can do to yourself is wonder about your partner's ex. You might think about what their relationship was like, why things didn't work out, and how your partner truly felt about them. To be fair there's nothing wrong with being curious. In fact, experts say you actually should care about how your partner felt about their past relationship to make sure they're really the right one for you.

29 Questions For My Ex: "Is There Any Part Of You That Wants To Try Dating [Me] Again?"

Asking your partner questions about their ex or exes can seem either like the best idea you've ever had or the worst. On the one hand, asking your partner about the things that went wrong or right in their past relationships might help the two of you strengthen your own relationship, but on the other hand, hearing the nitty gritty details about your partner's life with their ex can leave one or both of you feeling jealous, defensive, or otherwise upset. There are, however, some questions you can ask your partner about their ex that will help you get closer together as a couple in your own right that you may want to consider bringing up, just know that these kinds of conversations can be emotional or nerve-wracking, so it's best to be prepared. It is not helpful to react, personalize, or use the information against your partner later. The point of these questions is to get closer and strengthen the bond your have with your partner, so make sure that you are ready to truly hear all that your partner has to say. If you've decided that this is a conversation you want to have, incorporating some of these questions can help tell you what you need to know and bring the two of you closer together. This is a pretty straightforward question, but the answer can be revealing. Marsha Ferrick, Ph. D, BCC , tells Romper by email. More likely than not, everything wasn't all one person's fault, so if they try to pin everything that went wrong on the other person, that can give you some important insight.

60 Questions I Have (But Will Never Ask) About His Ex

Some of these questions are necessary, some border on annoying, and some if you want your relationship to last should be avoided at all costs. How much money he makes. If you look fat. Besides, you know whether or not you look fat. We all have a past.

You can change your city from here.

Relationships are a very vital part of our daily lives so we need to take it very seriously. As the female, you need to ask your boyfriend some serious questions about your relationship so as to know what to expect. Of course two cannot work together except they agree, therefore in a relationship both parties need to have the same understanding especially about the relationship for it to be able to work. Relationships are meant to be balanced, the feeling both share should be in equilibrium if both parties are to enjoy the relationship, relationships are meant to be enjoyed not endured.

100 Serious Questions You Should Ask Your Boyfriend

Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love. Are you in a relationship and you're not sure where it's headed? While obviously not every relationship needs to end in marriage or some long-term partnership, if your goal in life is to one day have a family and kids, then you should probably keep that in the back of your mind when you're dating.

Skip navigation! Story from Relationships. When I was 23, I had a one-night stand that lasted five years. I went on a ski trip with three school friends; all of us were single and two of us had recently been dumped. We sang All Saints' "Never Ever" on the ski lift by day and danced on tables in bars by night. On the penultimate night, I saw someone I liked the look of and, with a lot of courage thanks to alcohol, sashayed over in my ski pants.

5 Important Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend Before You Get Too Serious

It's only natural to want to know about your partner's ex. After all, you might love your partner, and could be genuinely interested in their old life and the people who were in it. But it's always a good idea to think twice before asking your partner certain questions about their past — especially regarding exes — because it can easily have a negative impact on your relationship. If you feel comfortable chatting about the past, that's great. But don't ask questions if you think you might "use what you know in a negative way," couples psychotherapist Tina B. But be clear about your motivation, and brace yourself for how your partner's answers might affect you.

May 4, - Your boyfriend still has photographs of his ex-girlfriend on his phone and still clings to things that was gifted to him by her when they were in a.

A lot actually! The right questions can really help you get to know someone in a fun, invigorating way. It can take your conversations to a new level and breathe new life into your relationship by giving you something else to talk about aside from how your day was. Funny Questions to Ask.

Everything To Ask Your Partner For An Instantly Tighter Bond

When you first start dating someone you're really into, every convo feels exciting and special—hours pass in what feel like minutes, and minutes feel like seconds. But several months or heck, several dinners in, once you've gotten to know your partner on a truly intimate level, you might feel like you've run out of questions to ask them. You're not doomed Talking is, of course, the number one way to do that.

However, open and transparent conversations about past relationships offer significant insight into the person you are dating and may uncover red flags for you to be aware of. Broaching this topic may cause some apprehension, but if you both are seeking a long-lasting relationship, you have nothing to lose! But remember….

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Comments: 2
  1. Kigagis

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  2. Kajitilar

    I precisely know, what is it — an error.

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