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How to help a long distance boyfriend with depression

When your spouse has depression , you might be very worried, and feel utterly helpless. After all, depression is a stubborn, difficult illness. Your partner might seem detached or deeply sad. They might seem hopeless and have a hard time getting out of bed.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Help a Depressed Friend or Partner

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Support a Loved One Struggling With Mental Illness

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Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. I have been in a long distance relationship for 9 months with a gorgeous man who I love incredibly. We get along so well, and he's just beautiful. When we met he was depressed however I didn't realise, as our relationship started out we were both so excited and chirpy that I found that both my anxiety, and his depression was nowhere to be seen. We spoke twice a day, texted constantly, about everything and a lot of sexual things.

About 3 months in, he completely plummeted emotionally and asked for a break and for me to cancel all flights and that he could not handle our relationship anymore.

It broke my heart. We hardly spoke, hardly messaged. After 2 weeks he apologised, said he couldn't handle the split and that it was a mistake, that he loved me and paid for me to go there. The depression then disappeared again until about 1 month ago. He started a new job, had really high hopes for how it would go.

Some pieces he worked on did not go to plan and all of a sudden he started plummeting again. Getting depressed, not texting or calling much, etc. Me, being anxious, has automatically gone into OH GOD mode, worried that he will think that our relationship is causing too much stress again, and will break it off. I feel neglected because he has withdrawn.

He mentioned a few weeks back how hard he found this, that he couldn't just see me whenever, and that planning for the future of me moving there felt like loads of pressure too. In summary, I need help with how I can support him and also manage my own expectations.

Understand that it's not necessarily me, and how to 'drop those thoughts'. I just love him dearly and he deserves to feel the absolute best and I desperately want him to see that.

Also, we have been talking about next year closing the gap. How do I live with someone who is depressed and not get depressed myself? How do I stop getting anxious when I feel neglected?

Also, how do I make sure I don't put my own needs and feelings second always? I am glad you have posted and I am sorry to hear it has been a bit of a roller coaster ride for you both.

People on this site will have ideas, advice and support for you. Is your partner seeking any professional help? It is quite possible that he could reduce these bouts of depression, could you suggest the Beyond Blue phone service to him, as a place to get professional advice on what to do next?

I think a lot of your questions could be answered when you both have a clear picture of what your partner is suffering from. There are resources on this site for 'carers' and you will have a lot of support with this. I think your partner needs a mental health strategy that obviously takes everything into consideration, including your role. I hope that you can find some time each day to think about other positive stuff, your relationship with your partner is one part of you but there are other parts, don't forget to nurture those parts.

Love to you. Welcome to the forums. Below are some threads you might find helpful, from members who have been in similar situations to yourself - feel free to reach out in these:. Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones. You are currently: Home Get support Online forums. Online forums Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile Complete your profile.

Cancel The title field is required! Hi all, I have been in a long distance relationship for 9 months with a gorgeous man who I love incredibly. As a result I have become a sad over thinker and have been too impacted by it emotionally. Advice and stories appreciated.

Jacko Valued Contributor. Hi Jacah, I am glad you have posted and I am sorry to hear it has been a bit of a roller coaster ride for you both. Chris B Community Manager. Hi Jacah, Welcome to the forums. Below are some threads you might find helpful, from members who have been in similar situations to yourself - feel free to reach out in these: Supporting a boyfriend suffering depression long distance Caring for my long distance boyfriend who is depressed My partner suffers from chronic anxiety and depression and we also have a long distance relationship, we are like a yoyo Long Distance Relationship Making Me Depressed - HELP!

Long Distance Support If you love someone with depression, you need to watch this. Stay in touch with us Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones. Sign me up. Your session is about to expire. You have 2 minutes left before being logged out. Please select 'ok' to extend your session and prevent losing any content you are working on from being lost.

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People in long-distance relationships often feel lonely and depressed when they are away from their significant other. In fact, research shows that when we are separated from someone we love, anger, guilt, depression and anxiety are normal emotions. People in long-distance relationships report more symptoms of mild depression, such as feeling blue, difficulty sleeping, feeling uninterested in things, and difficulty concentrating. People in long-distance relationships are bound to be missing their partners every single day. Wait, no, every hour and every second of the day.

This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. When I started university, I did not have dating experience before I met him. He was so sweet to me and my family loves him.

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Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend’s Depression Is Making Me Question Our Future Together

It's Mental Health Awareness Week and we're looking at people's experiences of mental health issues - their own and those of their loved ones. Here, our writer describes her boyfriend's struggle with depression - and the toll it took on her. I met Liam the way many modern romances start. We were friends of friends who started chatting online. He offered to help me with my art magazine and it went from there. We started dating and a month later he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was easy, carefree and very fun. He quickly became my best friend and for the first time, aged 22, I felt I had a partner — not just a boyfriend. We were building our careers - mine in art, his in music - and we were doing it together, making our big decisions as a team and celebrating successes with wine at night.

10 Ways to Crush Long Distance Relationship Depression, Backed by Science

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. I have been in a long distance relationship for 9 months with a gorgeous man who I love incredibly. We get along so well, and he's just beautiful. When we met he was depressed however I didn't realise, as our relationship started out we were both so excited and chirpy that I found that both my anxiety, and his depression was nowhere to be seen. We spoke twice a day, texted constantly, about everything and a lot of sexual things.

It is definitely an emotional roller coaster.

I'm 21 and a student at uni. Despite the long distance relationship for the past year, we text every day and support each other emotionally. Her self-esteem is very low and she has told me she hates herself. I have my own life and worries of course, but I love her and want to do right by her.

My Long Distance BF is Depressed and ignoring me. Please help.

We live in different continents. We only met once, when I visited his country, and we started talking through messengers, calls and eventually made sure about our feelings to each other. I knew that he has depression issue but I thought it was not that serious.

Posted 2 years ago , 2 users are following. My bf lives across the country, so we talk on the phone as often as possible. I knew he was depressed and has anxiety before I got into a relationship with him, and I have the same things, but not as severe as his. His dad died a few months ago and he told me he has been having bad dreams about him lately. He told me he loved me, has always texted me promptly, but I started to notice he was texting and calling less and less, until barely at all.

My long-distance boyfriend has depression and is withdrawing from me: Ask Ellie

These forums are a place where you can ask other young people advice on dealing with tough times and share your advice on what has worked for you. Please remember that it does not replace professional advice. Join the online community Login to post. So my problem is that I am currently here in Australia, while my boyfriend is at home in Germany. We used to have a really loving, close relationship, even after I started my time abroad. However, the past two months his behaviour changed and we seemed to fight about the same topic over and over: He had stopped putting in the effort he used to put in, I constantly had to fight for affection of any kind, I felt like he had lost interest in what I told him and me in general.

May 12, - It's painful to watch someone you care about suffer. Learn how to support your partner in their suffering, and foster connection and closeness.

No one teaches us how to navigate a relationship when mental illness or depression enters the equation. I recently read a Washington Post article by a woman whose relationship was torn apart while she and her partner tried to deal with his depression. Last year when I plunged into a depressive episode during our relationship, my partner was at a loss.

How to Help Your Partner Through Their Depression

Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.

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Comments: 1
  1. Vitaur

    I thank for the information.

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