How to get a guy to open up more
Are you just getting back into dating after divorce and want to start over with a new guy but feel self conscious? Talking to men can seem complex and difficult, but most of the time this is because we expect guys to bond and connect through talking like women do. This age old tip in communication is one of the wisest tips that you can take when it comes to learning how to talk to men. Men get bored, annoyed even, by chatterboxes. Get used to the idea that there might be silence on occasion and get comfortable with it. Just like you want him to ask you things to get to know you better, so does he.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: A Simple Secret to Make a Man Feel Safe and Open Up to You
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Get People To Open UpContent:
5 Ways to Get Your Guy to Open Up
As you already know, strong and open communication is one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship. But even though it's so crucial, that doesn't mean it's easy for everyone to freely share how they feel. If your SO clams up or shuts down, you probably spend a lot of time trying to get them to open up.
And it can be incredibly frustrating. That's why, if things are going to continue, you'll both need to trust each other enough to share thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Do know, though, that this process can be tricky and uncomfortable — especially for men.
While this definitely isn't true for every man, it can be a huge bummer if you happen to be dating a man and he isn't able to open up. And, it can put a strain on your partnership. If you need the convos to start flowing, read on for some some easy ways to make it easier for you both to talk — all in the name of a healthier, happier relationship. It's not fair to expect your partner to be open, if you aren't willing to do the same. So get in the habit of being open, too, and hopefully he will follow.
Instead of going into a conversation ready to unleash some thoughts and advice, go into it ready to listen. If you want your partner to open up, resist the urge to force them into an unwanted conversation. Joshua Klapow , who often talks about this issue on his radio show.
Once your SO knows conversations can happen freely and easily, they'll likely happen more naturally. But don't afraid to subtly encourage them.
And two, it allows him to get his verbal motor running. Talking about anything is often a gateway to his feelings. Some people believe men are more action-based, than emotion-based. So try asking about how he reacted to things, instead of how he felt. Hope Suis tells Bustle. By talking about what he did at work or when out with friends, he might open up more about what he thought and felt, too.
Us ladies are big on eye contact. But this doesn't always bode well when talking to your man. Probably the best place to bring up feelings and have a heart-to-heart is in the car. I know, again with the "side" thing. But this time I mean mentally, instead of physically. Go from generic situation to something more specific in their life.
When chatting with anyone, it always helps to take their personality — and likes and dislikes — into consideration. How he experiences life will be a clue to how to engage with him," says Doares. As with anyone, men don't like to feel judged or like they're failing. So try to avoid any judgment when having a frank convo. And, as Doares tells me, play to their strengths. Again, guys aren't big on heavy, one-on-one conversations, according to experts.
So try to avoid them at all costs. It's too intense for us," Etheridge says. There's a test you both should take that looks at the Five Love Language , meaning the ways you give and receive love. Most men are not easy to open up, so knowing how to speak their 'language' will go a long way. Since opening up doesn't come naturally to everyone, it's important that you give your partner plenty of time to get better at it.
Of course you're entitled to your opinion, and you should share what you feel, too. But when you're both getting used to sharing emotions, let your SO speak without being made to regret it moments later. As Suis tells me, it's not uncommon for couples to bicker after sharing deep thoughts or concerns.
And, if you want them to feel OK about sharing thoughts, such a reaction should be avoided. The general take away from this article is that men and woman are, in many ways, very different when it comes to how we communicate. That's why, if things aren't going smoothly with this whole "opening up" business, try to accept it. As Suis says, "If we can find a way to work around that and appreciate that, we can co-exist in more harmony. Hopefully you'll both be able to feel more comfortable opening up.
But it may take some time, and it'll definitely take some practice.
How to get your Man to Open Up
Click here to read the introduction: Questions you should Never ask your Man! I wanted to ride you real bad! But now ask yourself, knowing your man, which of these two answers are more convincing?
Men are like oysters: they are hard to open up at first, but once you do, you find his soft, delicious, most vulnerable parts inside. Yep, I have been there, too. Research shows that men typically show their emotions more readily through their behavior and the manner in which they speak than they do through the words they say. Getting a guy talking about his emotional state of mind is like baking a cake: take the 10 ingredients listed below, mix them gently, and let the mixture bake for a while in order to get the best results. For men to open up, they have to trust you first.
7 Ways to Finally Get Him to Open Up
Remember, guys think showing any kind of weakness and yes, he thinks sharing his emotions are a weakness will make you think less of him. With the right techniques, you can totally do it — you just need to know how. Start with a joke. The more relaxed he feels, the more likely he is to start sharing. Be open with him. Save some of those for your girlfriends. Just show him there are no consequences for talking to you. Bring up an imaginary scenario. Ask him what advice you should give and how you might better understand your friend. Keep your tone relaxed and friendly.
How To Get A Guy To Talk About His Feeeeelings
Have you ever experienced this? Things are going well with your guy. I know how confusing and frustrating this can be, because I used to feel that way all the time. I would tip-toe around the man in my life, thinking I had to just accept the times he would become distant with me.
As you already know, strong and open communication is one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship. But even though it's so crucial, that doesn't mean it's easy for everyone to freely share how they feel. If your SO clams up or shuts down, you probably spend a lot of time trying to get them to open up. And it can be incredibly frustrating.
How To Get A Guy To Talk About His Feeeeelings
Shy people are very guarded in social situations. They tend to avoid social interaction and are reluctant to share personal information. This can be frustrating to friends and family who want a deeper connection and potential new friends looking to create a bond. To show your interest physically, try matching his intensity and mirroring subtle movements, like leaning in or crossing your legs.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Help An Emotionally Unavailable Man Share His Feelings - 6 Ways To Make Him Emotionally Open
Sound familiar? In a recent poll, 42 percent of iVillage visitors say that they have a hard time getting their partner to share his feelings. When that happens, she feels shut out and he feels misunderstood. But in my years as a therapist and author, I've discovered something that many women don't realize. Men want to talk. Under the right conditions, they'll talk all night long.
6 Ways to Get Him to Talk About Feelings (Advice from a Dude!)
But the era of the man bun has ushered in a willingness on the part of guys to be less guarded. Here, some methods to get his lips moving. When was the last time your boyfriend bonded with his buddies over a quiet dinner? Sustained eye contact can also cause confusion. And with a woman, a guy may perceive a long stare as you being DTF, not down to talk.
5 secrets of getting a man to open up