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How to find right girl for marriage in india

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From left: Suhani, Aman, Shivani. In India, many people treat marriage itself like it is a society-inflicted ticking time bomb set on anyone in their 20s as if staying unmarried is explosive and needs a bomb squad aka matchmaking relatives to come in and defuse the situation. Statistics say that the global divorce rate is much lower for marriages in India, which many attribute to an arranged marriage , while others point out this could very well be a result of our society favouring sanskar values over self or a lack of agency for people to oppose their marriage. A recent survey of Indian Gen Z folks also revealed that most have little patience for the sanctity of marriage, with 63 percent of them choosing live-in relationships where both partners contribute equally, before jumping into marriage.

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: WATCH THIS BEFORE SAYING YES TO ARRANGED MARRIAGE

I’m 29. Single. Woman. Indian.

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An Indian couple buy decorative items and gifts for the forthcoming Hindu festival of Diwali at a busy market in New Delhi on October 25, Chat with us in Facebook Messenger. Find out what's happening in the world as it unfolds. She is 20 and finishing a degree in psychology at a Delhi university.

Cable TV is so yesterday; she streams shows and movies on Netflix. Her favorite? But when it comes to marriage, Naina's views might shock American women her age. She reflects a way of thinking long engrained in the culture of my homeland: Your parents know best. But it has been instilled in me to have an arranged marriage. Naina spoke to me frankly and asked me not to use her last name.

In her family circles, it's best to not to publicly air opinions on such intimate topics. More Videos Arranged marriages common in India I knew that many young urban women in India felt the same way as Naina. I spoke with a few on my most recent trip there and discovered that they, despite exposure to liberal ideals, have held firm to traditions I thought would have fallen away by now.

I was surprised by conversations I had with my cousins and the daughters of friends. I saw them as women who were smart, confident and independent, with aspirations for every success. Yet they preferred a marriage that was arranged for them by their parents.

There was no choice but arranged marriage for women in my mother's generation. She saw my father only once before she married him in My grandfathers arranged the meeting in the north Kolkata house where my mother was raised.

Ma was summoned into the living room for my father's father to inspect. He approved of the prospective bride. Ma had a degree in economics and was an accomplished singer. She was asked to sing at that meeting and, as I've heard the story, my paternal grandfather was taken with her voice. But perhaps more important, Ma came from a high caste family of good repute.

After that one encounter, my mother was committed to spending the rest of her life with a man she had just met. Since then, Indian society has changed considerably. Globalization flooded the nation with Western goods -- and ideas.

Younger women today are far more open in their outlook than were my mother and aunts. Even arranged marriages have changed among urban, middle-class families. Parents still introduce men and women to each other, but they are usually given time to get to know one another before an engagement is announced. I grew up in India at a time when most of my cousins and friends were open to arranged marriages. But once our family immigrated to the United States, my father never pressured me to marry a man of his choosing.

And that is the way I wanted it. I could not comprehend making a life commitment to someone I did not love. That was decades ago. I couldn't understand why young women today were not more insistent on entering a "love marriage. Part of the complexities in Indian society stem from the rapid-fire changes the country has experienced.

Historian Ramachandra Guha argues that India is undergoing not one but five revolutions simultaneously: economic, political, urban, social and cultural. All at once and at warp speed. Imagine the tension between centuries-old traditions and the torrents of change. She expected that Western influences had wrought change, but she was proven wrong. Even though women are surrounded by ads and movies promoting love -- obsessive, forbidden, impossible love that defies all societal expectations -- Indian society is still not ready for all that, Flock says.

A big reason: the stigmas that are still attached to marrying someone from a different faith or social class. Extramarital affairs. Women are testing the boundaries," Flock tells me. Marriage in India is about devotion to another person.

About caring, duty and sacrifice. An arranged marriage is based on a premise of permanence. It's not based on love that someday might fade, but rather a contract that needs to be fulfilled. And if a woman is lucky, says Ishita Bhargave, love might show up along the way. She earned a degree in civil engineering and was working full time for a construction firm in Ahmedabad before she gave up her job to move with her husband to suburban Delhi. She describes herself as very liberal and told me love marriages are trendy.

But such a marriage was not for her. Even when she was working, she remained at home with her parents. Most Indian boys and girls don't flee home when they turn Instead, they develop into young men and women under their parents' wing.

It makes sense then, Bhargave says, that she trusted her parents to look out for her. Besides, she adds: "It is convenient. It's too much trouble to find the right person. She tells me she had a boyfriend once. She liked him a lot but quit seeing him after her parents told her: "It's your way or our way. You choose. She would like them to introduce her to a suitable groom.

She trusts her parents more than herself when it comes to making such an important decision. I ask her about the qualities she's looking for in an ideal husband.

Good morals, ethics. He should be well educated. And he's got to have money. That last part is very important for Naina. I know for a fact that if there is financial strain, even if you love the guy, it will be hard to make the marriage work. What I gather from Naina and other women I speak with is this: An arranged marriage is convenient. It's like hiring someone for a top government job and knowing exactly what you're getting. The vetting is done before anyone signs on a dotted line.

And it spares the woman from blame in case the marriage goes sour. She tells me she knows women and girls who are sexually active before they are married. But that is still taboo. It's healthy, normal. But in India, if you want to date someone like that, it has to be a secret," she says. I ask Naina what she thinks about the way things are done in America.

I can't imagine living like that," she says. It's one thing to know about it; another to live it. But what about love? I ask. What about falling madly in love with the man of your dreams? The kind of love in the romance novels she reads and movies she watches that make her swoon over handsome guys and lose herself in fairy-tale notions of relationships. But I am sure I will like him enough to say 'yes.

I ask her how she will feel if she never falls in love with the husband her parents have chosen for her. Naina tells me that happiness comes from within -- not from a new handbag, a vacation or even a relationship. I would sure hope I do, but it won't kill me if I don't," she says.

She believes her parents love each other, but it's a different sort of love than the one portrayed in popular culture. Love is only a small component to a successful relationship, she says. Flock, the author, followed the three Mumbai couples for her book because she admired them.

She thought they might provide answers for marriage that have eluded Westerners, including her own father, who has been divorced three times. What she found is that though arranged marriages may still be the norm, women in India have developed more of a desire for companionship. They were really pushing boundaries, while outwardly they were saying, 'Of course I am going to have the marriage my parents arranged. I am going to do what my mother did.

Parvati, one of the women in Flock's book, fell madly in love with the man of her dreams.

Here’s What India’s Gen Z Really Thinks About Arranged Marriage

Her goal, when writing romance fiction, is to provide readers with an enjoyment and involvement similar to that she experienced from her early reading — Penny believes in the importance of love, including the benefits and happiness it brings. She works from home, in her kitchen, surrounded by four dogs and two cats, and welcomes interruptions from her friends and family. Account Options Anmelden. Meine Mediathek Hilfe Erweiterte Buchsuche. Harlequin Amazon.

First make her feel comfortable with you, so start with topics which would interest her. Discuss about the latest good movie running these days.

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Why these Indian millennials are choosing arranged marriage

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Arranged marriage in the Indian subcontinent

An Indian couple buy decorative items and gifts for the forthcoming Hindu festival of Diwali at a busy market in New Delhi on October 25, Chat with us in Facebook Messenger. Find out what's happening in the world as it unfolds. She is 20 and finishing a degree in psychology at a Delhi university. Cable TV is so yesterday; she streams shows and movies on Netflix.

If you are, you know what I'm talking about. Ever since I've turned 20, all of my billion brothers and sisters have a new goal in their life: to get me married.

When year-old Manisha Agarwal name changed logged on to a dating app for the first time, she was paralysed with fear. Married for 15 years, she needed a distraction from her sexless and loveless marriage , but was scared she would be caught in the act. Here someone always knows you or one of your acquaintances.

Only 5% Indian Women Have A Right To Choose Partners: Survey

Even though we say that India is progressing towards a better tomorrow, forced marriage still plagues many Indian families and society as a whole. Even with all the laws in India prohibiting child marriage, young girls below the age of 18 are forced into marriage. It is high time that women learn about their rights and legal options available to them against forced marriages.

By Shreeya Sinha. India now has more than 1, matchmaking sites, giving parents — and potential brides and grooms — thousands of choices to help arrange modern marriages while allowing families to adhere to longstanding traditions regarding caste and religion. We asked readers, some of whom only gave their first names, who have used such sites to share their tips. Kadhambari Sridhar, 26, from Falls Church, Va. She said she had hoped the site for Tamils looking for mates would help her find a husband who lived in the United States and shared her religion and culture. But that did not happen.

5 Reasons Why Married Indian Women Are Turning To Dating Apps

The boy is in good state job in Mississippi and cannot come to New York. The girl must relocate to Mississippi. But I did take heart in the fact that it was addressed only to me. My parents, in a very earnest bid to secure my eternal happiness, have been trying to marry me off to, well, just about anyone lately. In my childhood home near Sacramento, my father is up at night on arranged-marriage Websites. Our prospective husbands have to be rich and socially conscious, hip but down-to-earth. My father saw my mother once before they got married. I was more precocious when it came to affairs of the heart, having enjoyed my first kiss with cute Matt from the football squad at

he would find the right girl—the one who can break through that tough outer crust he assumes.' What with? India found herself thinking. A pickaxe? Dynamite?Penny Jordan - - ‎Fiction.

Arranged marriage is a tradition in the societies of the Indian subcontinent , and continue to account for an overwhelming majority of marriages in the Indian subcontinent. Arranged marriages are believed to have initially risen to prominence in the Indian subcontinent when the historical Vedic religion gradually gave way to classical Hinduism the ca. The Indian subcontinent has historically been home to a wide variety of wedding systems. Some were unique to the region, such as Swayamvara which was rooted in the historical Vedic religion and had a strong hold in popular culture because it was the procedure used by Rama and Sita. In a swayamvara , the girl's parents broadcast the intent of the girl to marry and invited all interested men to be present in a wedding hall on a specific date and time.

Reader Tips on Finding a Partner Using Indian Marriage Sites

But true. A few women talked to SheThePeople. TV about this scenario.

Is Arranged Marriage Really Any Worse Than Craigslist?

Account Options Anmelden. Meine Mediathek Hilfe Erweiterte Buchsuche. Binu Peniel. The allegory of the cave by Plato is the genre of this book.

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TBI Blogs: Did You Know There Are Laws in India That Protect Men and Women from Forced Marriages?

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Comments: 3
  1. Tygokree

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  2. Mikazragore

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  3. Grojin

    I am sorry, I can help nothing. But it is assured, that you will find the correct decision. Do not despair.

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