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Emotional needs for a man

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Everyone has emotional needs. When these needs are fulfilled you feel a special love and connection. Emotional needs represent the middle tier of the 3 sets of personal needs: love, emotional, and human. When your partner meets most of your needs, a strong bond and romance develop.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Your Emotional Needs Not Being Met in Relationships


6 Ways Men Deal With Emotions Way, Way, Way Differently Than Women

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Everyone has emotional needs. When these needs are fulfilled you feel a special love and connection. Emotional needs represent the middle tier of the 3 sets of personal needs: love, emotional, and human. When your partner meets most of your needs, a strong bond and romance develop. These emotional needs focus more in terms of love and romance.

Willard Harley, Jr. This landmark work has had a profound impact on millions of marriages worldwide. To put it simply, his many years of research reveals that feelings of romance and love are nothing more than learned association based on triggered responses.

What does that mean? In a lab experiment, it might be demonstrated by giving a person a violent shock when showing them a picture of a city, and giving them a comforting massage when showing them a picture of mountains. After enough reiterations of this experiment, the subject would get uneasy when seeing pictures of a city, but relaxed and happy when seeing mountains.

How does this relate to your marriage? When your emotional needs are met by a particular person, you draw closer to that person. When that person continues to meet your emotional needs, you can develop feelings of love and romance. That person, your partner, is triggering a learned response within you of love. The opposite is also true. When your partner stops meeting your needs in a way that hurts you, you develop a learned response to pain when you see your partner.

Many couples develop feelings of love and romance when they date. You and your partner probably did many activities together, talked, and shared intimate conversations. The good feelings were imprinted on each of you as love. You got married. It was good for a while.

However, somehow things changed. Life got in the way of your romance. Work took each of you away from the other. Children created massive change in your time together and finances. Each of you changed a little as you matured and grew older. Your human, emotional, and love needs may have also changed. Now, however, there may be little romance and a lot more anger and frustration. The solution is surprisingly simple:. You each need to identify your emotional needs, and re-commit to providing each other with these needs.

When each of you start to provide each other with the needs each requires to feel love, on a continuous basis, the feelings of anger and frustration will be replaced with love and romance. When you see your partner, you will once again be filled with joy and love. You may be asking why these emotional needs are so important. Several of the marriage experts I research refers to a concept Dr. Gottman calls a similar concept the Love Map. Gary Chapman calls it the Love Tank. John Gray and Mark Gungor refer to the concept in all of their works.

Quite simply, the Love Bank refers to the deposits and withdrawals of love units for all the interactions we have with other people. When someone does something that makes you feel appreciated, love units are deposited into your love bank. When someone does something that leaves you feeling anxious or angry, love units are withdrawn. The units are not exact mathematical units, but rather, relative units to how you feel.

When you first started to date your spouse, the dates that left you happy were the result of love units being deposited into your love bank. The more your partner did that helped you feel love, appreciation, admiration, respect, and so on, all were the result of love unit deposits. When your partner forgot a date, said something inconsiderate or left you feeling insecure, love unit withdrawals are made. Love unit deposits and withdrawals are directly represented by the degree your partner meets your emotional needs.

When your partner meets your emotional needs, you feel love and romance. The love bank has a large positive balance. When your partner fails to meet your emotional needs, you feel insecure, frustrated, angry, and neglected. The love bank has large withdrawals and may even leave the balance in the negative. When the love bank runs low or in the negative, we tend to look for ways to bring it back into the positive. It makes us feel better. We tend to pay more attention to those who leave us happy and with joy.

This is how affairs begin. This is when we start to have emotions towards friends and coworkers who otherwise would not have registered on our radar. When we are not having our emotional needs met at home, we look in other places, with other people.

We do anything we can to get our love, emotional, and human needs met. You can affair-proof your marriage by making sure you meet the emotional needs of your spouse, and your spouse meeting your emotional needs. You can increase the love bank deposits to where it has an abundant positive value. To do this, you need to understand the emotional needs, and how to fulfill those needs within yourself and your spouse. There are 10 emotional needs. Some are stereotypically associated with women, and some are stereotypically associated with men.

Today, that concept triggers some folks. As I describe these emotional needs and who usually has that need, I ask that you understand it is based on science. Not theory. Not feelings. Studies and science. What does matter is that you identify with the ones that help you feel a special sense of love. As I discuss each one, I will refer to the sex that typically identifies with that need. Use this just as a reference, not an absolute. As you read about these 10 emotional needs, please be aware that at the end of this article, I will provide an exercise where you will select your top 5 emotional needs.

Harley, Jr. Continuing to rank the remaining 5 do little to help a marriage. The 10 emotional needs are:. Affection is the expression of caring. When you are shown affection by your partner, you feel that your partner cares about you. You feel secure. You feel comforted. Many men try to show affection to their wife with sex. Sex is sex. Affection is non-sexual. Any hug, kiss, or physical touch that is sexual in nature, or intended to lead to sex, is not affection. I'll talk more about sex later.

Affection is very closely related to the 5 Love Languages popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman. When you show love to your partner in the language they prefer, you are showing affection. If your partner has a need for affection, what can you do to provide them a feeling a security and comfort in a non-sexual way?

Sex is most often associated as a need for men. To a man, sex is nearly as important as the air he breathes. Without sex, a man will feel unloved. When he feels unloved he can do very bad things.

Men often do not understand the relationship between affection and sex. They want sex, but forget about giving affection first. Sex and affection are highly inter-related. When a man gives ample affection to his wife, she is far more likely to be in the mood for sex. If one has sexual fantasies, that is a good indicator that sex is high on your list of emotional needs. If you fantasize about sex with your partner, sex is likely a strong emotional need. When sex is a high emotional need, it is beneficial for both partners to educate themselves in the art of sex.

Boring sex is a drag.

How to Fulfill the #1 Emotional Need of a Man and a Woman

Your emotional needs are inner cravings that when they are satisfied, make you feel happy and content. When they are unsatisfied, you are left to feel both empty and frustrated. Understanding the biggest needs of men and women can totally change the dynamic and potential of your relationships. Ignorance is one of the mayor causes of failures in relationships.

Studies consistently show that men and women are not very different in their wants and needs. Perhaps there are differences, but science has not found a way to measure them. Experts who speak on the subject acknowledge that differences do persist and work to bridge the gap between men and women, helping women understand what men want and need in relationships.

We hear a lot of talk about the oppression of women, but do we really hear any talk about the oppression of men? Quite frankly, I never have. At least not in the way I'm about to explain. As a life coach and hairstylist for 25 years, I have had my share of up close and personal conversations with men.

What Do Men Need in a Relationship?

The Emotional needs of a man is one of the most misunderstood emotions. Our emotions are a combination of a host of factors —mood, temperament, personality, motivation and disposition. That is to say that our emotions are a combination of mental activities and a degree of pleasure or displeasure. The way men respond emotionally is quite different from women. Therefore, it is very important when a woman understands the emotional needs of a man and know what he truly expects from her. When a woman submits herself to a man, she shows him high regard or admiration. No matter how poor or humble a man is, he craves for respect from the woman he truly loves. Respect is an emotional food for a man. A woman feeds his feelings when she lavishes respect duly to him. Men have a natural ego.

The Repressed Man: What He Really Needs From His Partner

Eventually, Kelly became his default therapist, soothing his anxieties as he fretted over work or family problems. For generations, men have been taught to reject traits like gentleness and sensitivity, leaving them without the tools to deal with internalized anger and frustration. Meanwhile, the female savior trope continues to be romanticized on the silver screen thanks Disney! Unlike women, who are encouraged to foster deep platonic intimacy from a young age, American men—with their puffed up chests, fist bumps, and awkward side hugs—grow up believing that they should not only behave like stoic robots in front of other men, but that women are the only people they are allowed to turn to for emotional support—if anyone at all. It has gained more traction recently as women, feeling increasingly burdened by unpaid emotional labor, have wised up to the toll of toxic masculinity, which keeps men isolated and incapable of leaning on each other.

Men are often reluctant to talk about their needs in intimate relationships. We need frequent reassurance about ourselves, our career paths, our efficacy as partners, our sexual prowess , and our attractiveness among other things.

This article will focus on what men wished women knew about them by listing just a few ways women can better understand their partners. Men and women are different. Our brains are wired differently, our hormones are different and our emotional needs are different. Men tend to do for women what men need, and women do for men what women need.

7 Things All Men Need In A Relationship

Last week I posted an article about the basic emotional needs of women. I typically write articles that are directed toward men, but I get more feedback from women, either in the form of comments, Facebook Likes, or by email. So today, I want to talk about the basic emotional needs of men. For the women, hopefully this article will help you to better understand your man.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: This is How WEAK Men Deal With Emotions (Animated Story)

You may feel that your spouse is not meeting your emotional needs. But, marriage counselors and psychology experts generally agree that only you can satisfy those needs. You should not consider yourself an empty emotional vessel to be filled by your spouse. You need to take responsibility for your own fulfillment, and the best way to do that is to consider and satisfy your spouse's needs first. Willard F. Harley, Jr.


For some reason, men have a hard time opening up emotionally. So the question is — are men really emotionally detached or are they just wired to not share their deepest and darkest with us women? From a guys perspective, they need to have it all together no matter what, so they detach from their feelings so that they CAN keep it all together. So why would he want to share that with you? A guy being transparent about such things is hard to come by — possibly because of the standard that society holds him to; possibly because you are unintentionally disregarding his feelings or giving him the impression that he HAS to hold it together — otherwise the family would fall apart. But the truth is, men have MANY feelings, and they translate into these emotional needs that people rarely talk about.

Jul 5, - Our brains are wired differently, our hormones are different and our emotional needs are different. Men tend to do for women what men need, and.

In a marriage, both spouses have emotional needs that they desire to fulfill to feel balanced. And when it comes to the most important emotional needs of a spouse, men and women greatly differ from each other. By gaining an in-depth understanding of the emotional needs of a man, you can act as a better wife and thereby be better able to sustain the relationship. Instead, inside their hearts, they often worry whether they measure up and whether they are good at what they do for their women. In other words, men deeply desire to feel able, competent, appreciated, and noticed for what they do for their relationships….

Your Partner Cannot Fulfill All Your Emotional Needs

A few weeks ago I posted a blog about 5 Qualities every woman should look for in a man. Contrary to what society wants to portray we are not these physical animals that only need sex, sustenance and sleep to survive. We have needs that extend beyond the physical.

The 5 most important emotional needs of a man – Meet his needs




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Comments: 3
  1. Arajin

    It is scandal!

  2. Vudogor

    In it something is. Thanks for the help in this question, the easier, the better …

  3. Kazrazuru

    Bravo, your idea simply excellent

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